DARVO
By: Empoweredvoices2025.com
Deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender (DARVO) is a tactic a person may use to deflect responsibility onto an individual they have abused. It is a form of manipulation a person may use to discredit a survivor’s experience.
Where did DARVO come from? It was first described by Dr. Jennifer J. Freyd, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Oregon, in the 1990s. Her research highlighted how DARVO not only helps perpetrators avoid consequences, but also discredits victims, making it harder for them to be believed or supported. Dr. Freyd is known for her work on “betrayal trauma theory”, which explores how people respond to abuse by someone they depend on (like a parent, partner, or boss). She noticed a recurring pattern in how perpetrators of abuse or institutional wrongdoing responded when confronted. She coined DARVO to describe this predictable sequence of defensive and manipulative behaviors.
Where will you see DARVO? Here are just a few, you’ll often see DARVO used in other ways, too. For the sake of this blog, we will discuss the following:
Abusive relationships (emotional, physical, or sexual)- In personal or romantic relationships, DARVO is one of the most common manipulation patterns used by abusers when they’re confronted about their behavior. Abusers will: do anything to not take responsibility for their actions, confuse or intimate the victim, make the victim feel guilty or gaslight to where they doubt their own memory, and abusers will use this to control the situation. Remember, its always about control.
Legal settings (defendants or abusers trying to shift blame)- DARVO can be presented in legal systems: jurors may be emotional swayed, victims can appear emotional, defensive, or inconsistent, and sadly, there are some (not all) defense attorneys reinforce tactics by echoing the same arguments.
Here are some of the realities of DARVO in abusive relationships. The victim ends up defending themselves instead of addressing the abuser’s actions. Over time, this can lead to: gaslighting, low self-esteem, emotional dependence, and isolation from support systems.
How to fight back? Recognize when DARVO is happening. Stay grounded in the facts such as recording or writing things down. Please seek support by talking to a therapist or a trusted friend. DO NOT argue or try to defend yourself. Many people have complex personalities and you’ll hit a dead end. They don’t care about what you say or to seek they truth, they only want control.
Informational Purposes Only
